Every time my office has a fire drill I bring my car keys on the far off chance that its real and we’ll get to go home.

My friend is proposing to his girlfriend this weekend. The first domino to fall. PGP

My work just blocked TFM. PGP

Went from still drunk to hung over in the same meeting this morning. PGP.

Sometimes when I get drunk I check my credit score. PGP

When going out for a beer actually means a single beer. PGP.

I was the lucky guy selected to go to a career fair this morning to recruit college kids for jobs I wish I could get. PGP

Had to poop on my lunch break. PGP.

I’m the only one in the office who can fix the copier when it jams. That’s real job security.

Had a dentist appointment this morning. Thanks to the laughing gas it was the highlight of my day. PGP.