“at least it was good interview practice”. PGP.

When’s the next Men’s Warehouse buy 1 get 3 free sale? PGP

More like DRINK DE MAYO. AMIRIGHT?! (Just kidding, I’m at work and went to bed at 9:30 last night.) PGP

My parents kicked me off the family plan. PGP.

My credit card got declined at the company happy hour. PGP

Submitting TFM posts when you’re 34 and married. PGP.

I got 99 problems and this broken fucking scanner is all of them.

When the highlight of your birthday is entering into new tinder age brackets.

Knowing the perfect speed limit so you hit only green lights on your commute. PGP

Came back home drunk on a Thursday night to hear, “How was your night honey?” From my mom.