Too scared to click on the “Your card statement is ready” email the day after getting back from SXSW.

Starting to recognize the same cars every morning on your commute. PGP.

Dreamt I won the lottery again last night. PGP.

It’s Friday and I’m here. That should be good enough. PGP.

Fantasizing about faking your own kidnapping to get some time off. PGP.

Took me until about 10AM to realize it was Thursday, not Friday. – PGP

My boss has half my education and twice my salary. PGP

“I’m sorry babe, we just can’t afford a baby right now.” PGP

I can’t grill because I live in an apartment. PGP.

My mother still doesn’t know what I do for a living. PGP.