I created an entire imaginary future based on the one job application I just filled out. PGP.

Turn down for heartburn. PGP.

Greeting the guy whose name you can never remember with “There he is!” PGP.

The last three birthday parties I’ve been invited to have been for 1-year-olds. PGP.

Welcome to the junior high of life. PGP.

I’ll take four Fireba–one vodka soda, splash of cran please. PGP.

It’s a “fuck it, let the intern deal with it” kinda Friday. PGP.

Faking an injury after winning a pickup basketball game so you can go out on top. PGP.

Drinking responsibly just isn’t as fun. PGP.

Made lunch today and gave myself food poisoning. PGP.