Shaun White is 31 and took the gold. I’m 36, living with my parents, and currently under review for “gross incompetence” by my boss.

Silently puking in the office bathroom the morning after the holiday party. PGP.

My condom stash is expired. PGP.

Typing “shart” instead of “sharp” in an important email. PGP.

Shopping the Back-To-School section for office supplies. PGP.

Strategically orienting your monitor so coworkers cannot see you freely surfing the Internet

The constant fear of shitting the back of your dress shirt. PGP.