Had to use Coinstar to afford two six-packs for the weekend. PGP.

Going from idolizing Patrick Bateman to empathizing with him. PGP.

Made a game time decision to wear my “fun” socks to work. Most exciting thing I did all week. PGP.

Got my very own surge protector today. PGP.

Hawaiian shirt day at the office. Not even Steve can ruin this for me today. PGP.

At this point, I could consider myself a born again virgin. PGP.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.

I don’t always fart in my cubicle, but when I do, it’s right before my manager stops by. PGP.

Just bought a sick vacuum. PGP.