Today I had to use a sick day for another job interview. My boss called my doctor. PGP.

Going to visit your parents on their anniversary like a good son…with two hampers full of laundry. PGP.

Don’t even know why I own sunglasses. The only time I escape the four walls of this hell hole is when it’s dark. PGP.

My boss is rubbing it in over beating me in fantasy football and there’s nothing I can do about it. PGP.

Started this month with a broken down car and declined credit card. Happy October. PGP.

I’m 100% positive the guy begging for change by my office has a higher net worth than me. PGP.

I’m asking for a briefcase for Christmas. PGP.

1/4-zip fleece game on point. PGP.

I just bought my first new car. It’s so small I feel like if a criminal hid in my backseat, he’d ask me to move my seat forward when I got in my car. PGP.

Can’t wait for November so I can stop shaving and not feel guilty about it. PGP.