Mid-meeting I got asked why I was there. PGP.

The “keep messenger from saying I’m ‘Away'” mouse jiggle at the end of the day. PGP.

Only 45 more years. #PGP

Everyone is getting leg cramps and shit during sex and I’m over here like, what is this “sex”? PGP

My friend just had a kid on purpose. PGP.

Every time someone at work tells me a story, I want to just “honestly, I don’t give a fuck.”

My coworkers call me “Hollywood” because I don’t have a kid. PGP.

Getting old enough to realize going out is too expensive and not worth the calories.

Another gorgeous day wasted in a fluorescent lit office. PGP

I want to go to lunch and never come back. PGP.