Getting so bored at work that you actually do work. PGP.

Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V. PGP.

I literally did nothing at work today. Seriously, nothing. PGP.

All my friends are assholes, but I have no idea where you find new ones. PGP.

Getting yelled at by your boss because you have been making the intern water the fake plants for the last three months. PGP.

Finally getting the automated rejection email for a job you applied for 18 months ago. PGP.

The insanely difficult 5:30 decision between hitting the gym or bottle. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.