I don’t get wedding invites anymore because all my friends are already married. PGP

Pretending that you actually have some pull when your buddy asks if your company is hiring. PGP.

I’m always tired. PGP.

My boss retired today. I’m more than qualified for that job. They’re filling it from the outside. PGP.

I now watch games at home because bars are too loud.

I am still expected to work at least 40 hours this week. PGP.

No idea what happened to FIFA, but I’ve had three separate conversations about it.

1: “Did you see my email?”2: “Yeah… Looking at it right now…” PGP

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

“When I was your age, I was just like you.” PGP.