The Wait of Shame on the toilet so you don’t have to make eye contact with the people who just heard you destroy it. PGP.

I can’t afford to be in another wedding.

I don’t remember the last time I was Happy for an entire Hour. PGP.

I’m the only one in my department who showed up for work today and I’m still to scared to get a beer with lunch. PGP.

I almost went to the gym this morning. PGP.

My condoms expired.

Ran into my ex at a mutual friend’s wedding, her new boyfriend is a really cool guy. PGP.

Taking vacations scrolling through Google Earth. PGP

When you wake up 3 minutes before your alarm will go off but you still try to fall back asleep anyway. PGP.

Should’ve started that pop punk band back in ’06. PGP.