Switch cell phone providers to save money, now my office bathroom doesn’t get signal.

Signing up for a PGP account while sitting at graduation. PGP.

Looking forward to my buddy’s wedding simply because it will be a great opportunity to take a quality LinkedIn photo. PGP.

Everyone is getting leg cramps and shit during sex and I’m over here like, what is this “sex”? PGP

Using all your sick days when you’re hungover so you have to work when you’re actually sick. PGP

Failed at having morning sex because he has bad knees and I got a leg cramp. PGP.

Top Gun turned 30 today. RIP Goose.

Forgot I had lowered my chair and sat on my balls. PGP.