I’ve had the dad bod before dad bods were cool. PGP

After two and a half years, I’ve finally encountered someone who puts haikus in their e-mail signature.

Took a personal on Monday. Saw a matinee by myself, cut the lawn, and was in bed by 9. PGP

Acromyms.PGP.

One day I am going to tie my tie right the first time #PGP

Listening to stories about people’s kids. PGP

The gradual decline in goal setting from a six figure salary to a new office chair. PGP.

The people who say “see you next year” today, when they know you will see them tomorrow. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

I’ve already lost half of the socks I got on Christmas. PGP.