“Come see me Monday morning, we need to talk” – things my boss texts me at 11:45pm on a Sunday night.

I do my window shopping on Monster and CareerBuilder. PGP

I don’t always take a shit at work, but when I do, I take at least half an hour. PGP.

Picked the wrong Sperry’s for casual Friday.. Everybody in the office can smell the Natty Light stains on them

Every time I decide not to check my email after work hours, I get six important ones. PGP.

I really need a better job. PGP.

My cubicle is basically just a cesspool of my own farts.

Girlfriend just said she felt sick. There goes my weekend. PGP

Had a nightmare my credit score dropped a hundred points overnight.

Someone flushed a toilet during a conference call.