When your annual raise doesn’t even keep up with the cost of inflation. PGP.

Out-girthing an entire wardrobe. PGP.

Completely inflating your job responsibilities to anyone who has no chance of finding out you’re a fake. PGP.

Pretending to take a call when you rip a huge fart at your cube so no one comes over to talk to you. PGP.

Sure working at Initech was soul-crushing, and Lumbergh was a douche, but at least they got Hawaiian shirt Fridays. PGP.

Batteries in my mouse died. Guess it’s time to go home. PGP.

Mastering the art of looking busy and maintaing zero productivity. PGP.

Coffee simultaneously serving as a pick-me-up and a laxative. PGP.

I bought season tickets for the minor league hockey team in town because I thought it’d be a great way to treat friends and clients. I went to 15 games alone. PGP.

One 5-hour Energy away from a heart attack. PGP.