Every single printer in the office is “low on ink.” PGP.

Having a jalapeño bagel and a large coffee for breakfast because fuck your cubemate. PGP.

I got a significantly different haircut today. Midday. No one noticed. PGP.

I’m just here for the paycheck. PGP.

Would still rather be in PR for the Clippers. PGP.

1: “I wanna go home.” 2: “We all do.” PGP.

Calling your boss just to make sure he’s at his desk and not walking around. PGP.

Day 2 of taking Adderall: still no actual work done, but just in case anyone asks, I have exactly 318 Post-it’s in 7 different colors and the building I can see from my cubicle has 240 windows. PGP.