I’ll know who my future wife is when we both get pissed at the bartender during last call and both start verbally abusing him at the same time. That’s when I’ll know she’s the one. PGP.

Shower coffee. PGP.

The increasing frequency of pep talks I have to give myself in the morning just to get out of bed. PGP.

Making less money than your parents pay in taxes. PGP.

HR guy at my new job told me to go out and celebrate with drinks with close family and friends. Got Jimmy John’s alone. PGP.

Parking my POS car super close to the drivers side of the new corvette in the parking lot. PGPM.

My credit card was declined on a first date. PGP.

My office has started playing Christmas music. PGP.

Today I had to use a sick day for another job interview. My boss called my doctor. PGP.