Having four dress shirts and two pairs of pants in the weekly rotation. PGP.

Getting up to go to the bathroom out of boredom, not necessity. PGP.

Netflix reminding me every couple of hours how lazy I am by asking if I’m really still watching. PGP.

I’m driving 40 miles each way to a job I hate. PGP.

I’m a piece of shit. PGP.

Too poor for a girlfriend or a pet. Not busy at all. PGP.

Heard a couple at the grocery arguing over what kind of bread to get. I can’t wait to get married. PGP.

I feel like my coworkers know when I take a dump. PGP.

Being the guy who brought the dish no one eats at a work potluck. PGP.