I haven’t received an email in over two hours. Someone please send me something to do. PGP.

Overtime means I’ll find out who wins tomorrow morning. PGP.

There was a fight today in the office. I was at lunch. PGP.

Hearing “look who finally decided to show up today” from three different people after being only five minutes late. PGP.

Got a Happy Birthday email from my bank before a call, text or Facebook post from any of my friends. PGP.

I think beer gives me heartburn now. PGP.

Big weekend. Think I’ll finally try and get the garage cleaned out. PGP.

Some girl at homecoming was trying to guess my age and said 35. I’m 27. PGP.

Ex-girlfriend asking for a LinkedIn endorsement. PGP.

Having to actually do work when PGP goes down for 30 minutes. PGP.