Team Snapchat was the only person to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day. PGP.

When buying new jeans is easier than losing the weight. PGP

Taking Gas-X pills is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound for me. PGP.

“Other duties as assigned” being the only accurate part of your job description. PGP.

Is it seriously only Tuesday? PGP.

Got stage fright at the urinal standing next to my boss. PGP

I can recognize cars I’ve seen before by their license plates on my commute. PGP.

Promoted to a bigger office. Computer screen now faces the door. PGP.

Guess I should have done a three year internship to meet entry level job requirements. PGP.