Simultaneously saying and then not responding to “how’s it going”

The last fifteen minutes of the work day seeming to take longer then your whole weekend. PGP

On day 3 of wearing the same pair of dress pants. People have noticed. I don’t care.

Someone just microwaved a seafood pot pie in the office break room. PGP

Delaying going to the bathroom because you have to pass through the break room and don’t want your coworkers to notice how long you take. PGP.

The sound of typing will be the end of me today.

I broke down and cried tears of joy when my parents offered to pay for new brake pads.

I’ve been sitting at my desk holding both my middle fingers up against my computer screen for 20 minutes now. No one has noticed.

I wouldn’t feel obligated to go to my boss’ funeral.

My meeting mindset has evolved to “admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations”. PGP.