When my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year, I asked for a sonicare toothbrush. PGP.

I don’t even look at the clock anymore. I tell time by how many times I click “I’m Still Listening” on Pandora. PGP.

My Windows password currently has “Natty Light” incorporated in it. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

There have already been several emails warning us about the consequences of taking a long lunch break for the Germany-United States game. PGP.

My idea of “Turnt Up” is a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. PGP.

My Google Chrome Top 8 homepage acting as my morning to-do list. PGP.

The USMNT waiting to play until happy hour on Monday. PGP.

There’s nothing like pouring off-brand syrup on off-brand Eggo waffles to remind you that your college degree was abso-fucking-lutely worth it. PGP.

The cruel irony that we are the generation that grew up in the “bling” era of rap. PGP.