Tuesday is the day I stop regretting last weekend and start looking forward to this weekend. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

Being the first person to crack open a beer in the corporate skybox. PGPM.

Getting yelled at by your boss because you have been making the intern water the fake plants for the last three months. PGP.

My “Sunday Funday” consisted of getting drunk and giving high school kids unsolicited advice. PGP.

Thinking about getting back into video games. PGP.

Gmail automatically marks the newsletter from my liquor store as “important.” PGP.

Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

I’ve eaten so much chicken that I can’t take it anymore. PGP.