I submitted a two-day vacation request while my boss was on a three-week vacation. The day he got back, he rejected my request. PGP.

The best thing that has happened since getting a full-time job: McDonald’s breakfast. The worst thing that has happened since getting a full-time job: McDonald’s breakfast. PGP.

I call our outsourced team in India more than I call my mother. PGP.

My best friend has a smoking hot fiancée and bought a house. I find myself resenting him. PGP.

Having to buy the same fiber supplement you always saw at your grandparent’s house. PGP.

I record golf when I’m out of the house on Sunday afternoons. I’ve officially become my father. PGP.

Five seconds of happiness before realizing your quarterly bonus is going entirely towards credit card debt. PGP.

“In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique.” PGP.

“What do you mean it didn’t save?” PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.