Counting down the days until FebruAny at Subway. PGP.

Someone destroyed my secret bathroom before I even got into the office this morning. PGP.

Everyone is working from home today. I didn’t get the memo. PGP.

Had a dream I was fired and got a huge severance package. Best dream ever. PGP.

Riding a fine line between being offended and ‘fair enough’ when you’re made aware of your family’s unanimous concern of you treating the upcoming family trip like a ‘boozy college beach week.’ PGP.

“You really need to stop treating the intern like he is a pledge from your fraternity days”-My boss. PGP.

I have a client whose last name is Bond. Every time he calls me, I say “Good evening, Mr.Bond” in an evil villain voice. He must hate me. PGP.

Your mother-in-law wishing her daughter married someone else. PGP.

I already know what my girlfriend is making me do on Valentine’s Day next year. PGP.

Doing a Tiger pump when you see all the bathroom stalls are empty. PGP.