My New Year’s Resolution is to stop treating my body like a garbage disposal. PGP.

NYE hangover: day two. PGP.

It’s New Year’s Eve and all I want to do is stay in, in my pajamas and drink on my couch while not watching the ball drop. PGP.

Got an offer to spend NYE at Olive Garden. Seriously considering it. PGP.

The people who say “see you next year” today, when they know you will see them tomorrow. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

My coworker is ten times more annoying now since his heart attack. PGP.

There’s someone in this city that wants to have sex with me, right? RIGHT?! PGP.

Got a clothing iron for Christmas. PGP.

Work being an excuse to get away from my family during the holidays. PGP.