Smoked a drunk cigarette over the weekend, still have a lingering cough #PGP

My work just blocked TFM. PGP

My boss has one of those clocks that plays bird noises on the hour. PGP.

Every time I fake interest in a useless meeting a little part of me dies

My condoms expired.

“I should probably stretch first”. PGP.

Pretending to be religious to get out of work on Friday PGP.

Having to learn from Forbes Magazine that my undergraduate degree is useless. PGP.

I really need to get started on my taxes. PGP

I chose the wrong career path. PGP