The Wait of Shame on the toilet so you don’t have to make eye contact with the people who just heard you destroy it. PGP.

I got 99 problems and money is all of them.

Melatonin is my performance enhancing drug. PGP.

Getting invited on winetasting trips by people who grossly overestimate my salary. PGP.

Needing a VP to approve all raises over 2% PGP

Still haven’t done my taxes but I do know who has the best crawfish boils in my neighborhood. PGP.

Sucking up to my bosses kid so he can put in a good word for me.

The old women at my office all gather in the lunch room at noon and watch Family Feud. PGP.

Actually enjoying the hold music groove and then having it ripped away when the other end picks up. PGP.

My friend is proposing to his girlfriend this weekend. The first domino to fall. PGP