Who needs birth control when you can just listen to your coworkers bitch about their kids all day, everyday.

Finding the acceptable volume for your Pandora to play at your desk without pissing off your co-workers.

Mastering weather-related small talk. PGP.

Threatening to boycott your friends wedding if they don’t have an open bar. PGP

Open enrollment. PGP.

Only ordering sodas at lunch when it’s on the company dime.

I had to ask someone if I could email them a document because I don’t know how to work a fax machine. PGP.

The dad body with no intentions of becoming a father

I had a dream that my tombstone was chiseled in Comic Sans font.

Rumor is the Director knocked up the intern, things just kicked up a notch today