My tobacco consumption has quadrupled during unemployment. PGP

“Man, this weather is crazy.” PGP.

My parents strongly suggested that I try online dating.

“Thank you for scheduling your payment” Fuck off. PGP

Life becoming a fine balance between Officespace, the Truman Show, and Groundhog Day. PGP

Taking vacations scrolling through Google Earth. PGP

Using “Back in the day” to refer to something you did less than 6 months ago #PGP

Chasing Tylenol with coffee. PGP.

When you wake up 3 minutes before your alarm will go off but you still try to fall back asleep anyway. PGP.

Should’ve started that pop punk band back in ’06. PGP.