Showing my boss – who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year – how to make “cool bullet sounds” for his PowerPoint presentation. PGP.

Being surprised at how fast the day goes when you actually do work. PGP.

The back of my cube is a wall, so no one can see my screen. I feel like a god. PGP.

The thought of sleeping in tomorrow is making me giddy. PGP.

Introvert in the office. Extrovert in literally every other aspect of my life. PGP.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.

Realizing that everyone has a bachelor’s degree and your time and money spent in college made you average. PGP.

I’ll be home for Christmas…pending approval from my manager. PGP.

There are two types of people in my office: people with hobbies and people with kids. I have neither. PGP.

Got caught Tindering during a meeting. I then had to explain to several of my managers what Tinder was. I can’t tell if they are disgusted or sorry for me. PGP.