I have literally zero control over how much I drink whenever I go out. PGP.

Was just endorsed on LinkedIn for customer satisfaction by the girl I’ve been hooking up with. PGP.

Introvert in the office. Extrovert in literally every other aspect of my life. PGP.

It’s that time of year, where you drive to and from work and see absolutely no sunlight. PGP.

My little brother just graduated law school in the top five percent of his class. My dog got kicked out of obedience school. PGP.

Rookie mistakes. Veteran consequences. PGP.

Two years into the real world. Still haven’t used algebra. At all. PGP.

Can we all just agree that the international sign for “Leave me alone” is eating lunch at your desk? PGP.

Using your old college ID to get a discount on a haircut. PGP.

I just want to have enough money so that I don’t have to think twice about adding guacamole. PGP.