My married manager asks about my sexual conquests. Every Monday. PGP.

The never ending guessing game about how much you think upper management makes. PGP.

I legitimately just questioned if I was invisible. Then questioned my sanity. Then poured another coffee and checked my email. PGP.

Mentally checking out from work two weeks before your day off. PGP.

Let’s have a meeting to plan what we’re going to plan for our next meeting. PGP.

I can’t believe I was the best candidate for the job. I’m a dipshit employee. PGP.

“I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” -Kevin Malone. PGP.

Hot new intern stopped by to introduce herself. HR stopped by to give me a preemptive warning. PGP.

Taking a nap on the floor of your office instead of taking a lunch break. PGP.