Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

My internet at home is better than my office’s internet. PGP.

Instinctively opening a new browser tab each time you hear someone walking your way. PGP.

Just got back from lunch, already hungry. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.

Sitting down in the shower. PGP.

At this point, I’d rather have Lloyd’s job under Ari Gold. PGP.

1: “So how long have you been working here?” 2: “Too long.” PGP.

Day 2 of taking Adderall: still no actual work done, but just in case anyone asks, I have exactly 318 Post-it’s in 7 different colors and the building I can see from my cubicle has 240 windows. PGP.