I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.

Monday through Friday. PGP.

1: “So what are you working on right now?” 2: “Stuff.” PGP.

My manager signs me up for meetings she doesn’t want to attend. I have no idea what the hell these meetings are about. PGP.

Coworker signed an email with “Have a productive day!” and I just wanted to respond “Go fuck yourself!” PGP.

Working out during lunch, then sweating for the next five hours. PGP.

1: “When is the next three day weekend?” 2: “Late May.” 1: “Shit.” PGP.

“Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know.” PGP.

Giving a shit about your lawn. PGP.