“Please put away your dishes. Your mother does not work here.” PGP.

Rain used to mean I wasn’t going to class that day, now it just means I’m going to be late to work. PGP.

I saw the sun for 20 minutes today. PGP.

I still don’t know what the acronym in my company’s name stands for. PGP.

Button just popped off my pants. I’m giving a presentation in 20 minutes. My belt hides it, but I don’t know what will hide my shame. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

When the conference call waiting music legitimately becomes “your jam.” PGP.

Jake from State Farm working until three in the morning, PGP.

Being jealous of the potential Ebola patients who are quarantined at home for 21 days. PGP.

I’m really going to start taking things seriously next week. PGP.