Made the big financial splurge for Spotify Premium. PGP

I lost the radio war in the office. Now, I hear “All About That Bass” at least five times a day. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

Went through 30 pages of PGPs. Still not time to go home. PGP.

I haven’t received an email in over two hours. Someone please send me something to do. PGP.

My boss told me “See ya, dude” as he left the office this evening. Not sure if I should be terrified or happy about this. PGP.

I used ZzzQuil and a white noise app to fall asleep last night. PGP.

The sink in the break room is broken, so we’ve been instructed to rinse our dishes in the bathroom prior to placing them in the dishwasher. PGP.

It’s “bring your space heater to work” season. PGP.

What do I have to do to get fired? I’m out here tryna get a severance. PGP.