I haven’t received an email in over two hours. Someone please send me something to do. PGP.

My boss told me “See ya, dude” as he left the office this evening. Not sure if I should be terrified or happy about this. PGP.

There was a fight today in the office. I was at lunch. PGP.

Hearing “look who finally decided to show up today” from three different people after being only five minutes late. PGP.

When the quality of your weekend hinges on the Coinstar at Safeway being fixed, you start to rethink some of your life choices. PGP.

My company is doing Movember. I don’t think I can grow a mustache. PGP.

Got yelled at for not going to a voluntary meeting. PGP.

I just got publicly shamed in front of the whole office because my boss doesn’t know the difference between ‘Reply’ and ‘Reply All’. PGP.

“Are you with the young man from the internet?” -my mom texting me about my Tinder date. PGP.

The kief catcher on my grinder is the closest thing I have to a savings account. PGP.