Being the only human in a meeting of 100+ people who is under the age of 35.

I’m trying to be more adventurous this year, so I decided to try hazelnut creamer instead of vanilla.

Got $25 to P.F. Changs instead of a Christmas Bonus. I’ll take it. PGP.

“I’d have to stop to get gas” as an excuse not to drive.

The chick I’ve been casually dating took a shit in my apartment.PGP

Everyone please stop endorsing me for “social media” on LinkedIn. PGP.

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Paying into a pension system that won’t be around when I retire. PGP

That “first time using the heater in 8 months” smell. PGP