“You look like you could use a vacation”

“I’m still trying to play catch-up from being out of the office last week.” PGP

The “Can I get your John Hancock on this?” for paperwork requiring a signature. PGP

Frank the Tank having a, “pretty nice little Saturday,” lined up. PGP

People my age are winding down their professional sports careers.

My friends moms aren’t hot anymore.

When my alma mater calls me for donations, I tell them to send me more info even though I have no intention of reading it or donating. PGP.

When the highlight of your birthday is entering into new tinder age brackets.

“Did you watch the riots last night?” PGP

Getting offers for vacations you’ll never be able to afford