When things get hard, I go into the bathroom and listen to Styx’s “Come Sail Away” and remember my Caribbean cruise from three years ago.

I don’t want to be here.

This morning I parked next to a guy sleeping in his car. PGP.

Calling shotgun on your way to lunch with co-workers.

I got my tax refund. I’M RICH, BITCH!

Had a great start to my quarter. Now my manager expects me to “keep up the great work!” PGP

Clocking in at 8:30 am, being done at 12 pm, waiting to go home at 5 pm. PGP.

Having nightmares about not being on mute. PGP

I shave minutes before going out so I can look as young as possible.

The dude sitting in front of me has his headphones in and is busting out a major air drum solo. PGP.