My boss sent me pictures from his colonoscopy saying “See, told you I wasn’t full of shit” Massive PGP.

“Lower your expectations and you won’t be disappointed” is the office’s slogan. PGP.

My mom texts every Friday morning asking me if I have “big plans” for the weekend.

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Finally found a job with my undergrad degree. It only took 4 years and 2 semesters of grad school.

I can’t even afford to casually date. PGP.

The hardest part of my job is pretending to care.

The “how many student loans do you have” conversation.

You make a drunken scene at one family wedding, and no one lets you live it down. PGP

“You look like you could use a vacation”