My paycheck feels like a participation award. PGP.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t at least a little tired. PGP

Took the scenic route to FedEx just to stay out the office longer. PGP.

Currently doing someone else’s job who makes more than me. PGP.

I’m the epitome of average. PGP.

My doctor just voluntarily offered me a Xanax prescription. I’m here for the flu. PGP.

It’s not even noon yet. PGP.

I would happily stay until 7 p.m. if I was allowed to come in at 10 a.m. PGP.

The closest thing I have to a man cave is the handicapped stall in the secret office bathroom. PGP.