Guy from accounting thinks it’s hilarious to stare at me from the doorway until I ask him what he wants. All he says is “Hey buddy,” then walks off. Every time. PGP.

My girlfriend and I just moved in together and now she farts in front of me. PGP.

I’m better prepared to get Ebola than to get someone pregnant. PGP.

People your own age calling you “sir.” PGP.

Glad to be on call, so I have an excuse to not go out. PGP.

Pregaming your annual performance review with a Xanax. PGP.

Living off a steady diet of microwaveable meals and beer. PGP.

A middle aged divorced female co-worker called her new boy toy “bae” today. PGP.

Going back to college on weekends to show how successful you are at doing nothing. PGP.

One roommate is a car salesman and the other is a server. Both make more than I do, and I have an engineering degree. PGP.