I spilled Rum and Coke all over myself in public last night. PGP

Can’t wait to get my taxes done so I can be responsible and blow it all in Vegas.

I probably peaked at 21. Maybe 22. PGP.

Not getting laid for 40 days and telling everyone you gave up sex for Lent. PGP.

Mandatory “diversity awareness” training. PGP

Found myself explaining tinder to everyone at work; they looked at me like I had just discovered fire. PGP.

I have got to stop drinking like I’m still in college. PGP.

Team Snapchat was the only person to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day. PGP.

The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Just got a text from the office manager saying we are opening the office late due to the snow. I was already here. PGP.