I can’t remember the last time I spent a Friday night somewhere other than my couch. PGP.

There’s always trade school. PGP.

Legitimately asking cashiers “How’s your day going?” not out of politeness, but because I’m so eager to interact with anybody outside of my office. PGP.

Tried to haze the pledges at homecoming. Corporate life has made me soft. PGP.

Debating a vasectomy after watching my boss’s kid for a half hour. PGP.

Making less money than your parents pay in taxes. PGP.

It’s Tuesday. I’m still hungover from Saturday. PGP.

I used to rely on adults to tell me the weather. Now I look at the 5 day forecast. PGP.

I was the first person in the office to get sick since the Ebola scare. Everyone thinks I have Ebola. PGP.