Only being able to tell your coworkers the PG13, edited for TV, version of your weekend. PGP

Found out today we’re moving offices, I don’t think I’ll be here long enough to worry about the move. PGP

Looking for your Times New Roman in the streets who’s a Wingdings in the sheets, but content on settling with a Calibri every time.

Who needs birth control when you can just listen to your coworkers bitch about their kids all day, everyday.

Threatening to boycott your friends wedding if they don’t have an open bar. PGP

Sometimes I just sit on the toilet to avoid people. PGP.

6 wings and one beer turned into 30 wings and me blacking out at Wing Night. PGP

Summer and winter are the same season when you have no windows in your office.

Clocking in at 8:30 am, being done at 12 pm, waiting to go home at 5 pm. PGP.

Everyone tries to live vicariously through me. PGP.