I got so fucked up on Friday that I spent my entire long weekend recovering. PGP.

I haven’t had sex with my girlfriend since we moved in together. PGP.

I used to get excited when my cell phone rang. Now I panic. PGP.

The new guy quit today. Back to being the low man on the totem pole. PGP.

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time. PGPowerMove.

When the IT guy says, “I have no clue.” PGP.

I finished all my work for the day by 11 a.m. Have to stay till 6 anyway. PGP.

The daily struggle between drinking or losing weight

Accidentally referred to myself as an alcoholic instead of a workaholic in a phone interview. At least I told the truth. PGP.

I’m the only person on my team without a marriage, house, or kids. PGP.