“Your performance report is due next week, can you go ahead and send me a list of everything you’ve done this year?” PGP.

The older men in my office are the only reason cell phone holsters are still being produced. PGP.

Coworkers thinking you have a hickey on your neck when in actuality it’s just a rash from the collar of your shirt. PGP.

Boss is at the Phoenix Open and I’m stuck in my cubicle answering phone calls from his drunk ass every hour. PGP.

Just had an hour-long conversation with my mom…and I liked it. PGP.

“Let’s really be proactive about this.” PGP.

I’m pretty bored. Guess I’ll go try pooping. PGP.

Watching a male coworker get a progressively fatter dad body after his wife has their first baby. PGP.

Responding to a headhunter on LinkedIn because he or she looks hot in their profile picture. PGP.

Forgetting to attach the file that your email explicitly states is attached. PGP.