Going to a concert relatively sober. PGP.

Having to look the cleaning guy in the eye after exiting a stall. PGP.

Any activity outside of your daily norm being classified as “exercise.” PGP.

Performance review is just a fancy term for “Why the hell shouldn’t we fire you?” PGP.

That feeling when you know you’re the first one to sit on a clean toilet in the morning. PGP.

The vultures that emerge from their hell holes when someone sends a mass email advertising leftovers in the break room. PGP.

Mowing the yard for exercise. PGP.

Showing up to work at 8:00, but not starting work till 10:00. PGP.

This shirt was supposed to be wrinkle free. It is wrinkled. Very wrinkled. PGP.

That feeling of disappointment when someone takes “your” parking spot after lunch. PGP.